I reached my limit and now I'm insane. I gave time, I created hope from the smallest amounts I had left inside me, but that's it, I'm done. I'm a being filled with hatred and anger. If someone actually succeed to help me, then that someone isn't human, it's god or an angel
a male straight ice whale lizard from another planet, who strives to draw kinky/fetish stuff in internet and be recognized for it.
NO KIDS ALLOWED!
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drawing for hobby, p
Brazil
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@LightWaveDrake That's a difficult position to be in.
You should ask your mother for the key to your room and lock it to gain more of a feeling of privacy. Consider talking to a friend about spending a weekend and staying overnight, either at their place or camping.
Aside from that... "Talk to your family about putting up your brother for adoption." sounds a bit drastic, but consider a route of telling him that this IS serious and that his behavior CANNOT go on.
the door is broken, it's can't be locked bcus the handle came off. and even if I closed the door, they'd pissed at me bcus they hate to lock myself inside my own room all day. if they didn't mind, I'd still hear their noise all day long no matter what
my bro, he's 6 but he doesn't comunicate yet, not enough for him to understand sentences like these. he's like a dog, assimilate words with things, but not big phrases, so telling him that he's misbehaving isn't an option bcus he doesn't understand what we are saying, and if he do, he'll kick us out of the room or start beating us until we leave, while crying.
once, mom came back from work, yelling and saying she wanted to give him to adoption. since then, I don't see her the same way, specially when she starts arguing with him
I don't have options, I can't really do a thing about all of this. and if I do, I piss them off, I annoy them, I always do, even when I don't do anything at all. my existence is their bane
@LightWaveDrake I'm not used to interacting with little children, but I happen to know that 'infantile amnesia'* should have ended by now. While I am not a medical professional, neurologically speaking: The interactions your family is having with him stick with him. He's just being a selfish prick.
I have great sympathy for your mother. However bad you think the situation seems 'to you', to her its way worse.
Consider family counseling. It might be free. A professional would at least be able to point to ways all of you can find ways to reduce the stress. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_therapy )
As for the lock: I'd have to see the door and door frame, but you could probably build a simple replacement handle from resources that are freely available, such as pieces of wood a supermarket might throw away or dead branches (don't break off branches to build with them - they are not good for that). Ask the information counter or at their office. It will 'likely' be a nice break from their routine to show you their disposal area. Depending on how sloppy they are washing bight be required. Bring a cheap or old bag.
Then build a second handle and keep it outside of your room. I get the feeling, this might become relevant.
What else...? Also check if they are DIY clubs in your area. Get practice with thrown out cardboard. Measure twice, cut once. Always cut away from yourself. Do not consider duct tape as the solution to all of your problems. Once you're a responsible adult, welding will be cheaper and more reliable than working with wood. Until then, wood is okay and rather safe to use.
I appreciate your trys to make it cheering, but it won't work. my bro is 6 years old, still a baby basically, he can'te be selfish. mom, she seems to no care he's autistic. and I have no pay for a new handle. sorry but nothing you try will help me
@LightWaveDrake As I said: The approaches I described above would be with resources you could get for free.
Yatsufusa
To tell the truth, your post is a bit hard to parse, but I think I got the gist of it:
You are taking a break right now, but the "break" hasn't been 'actually restful' because there is too much going on in your life. And now you are stressed out about not "having rested", not having done any art and how this may affect people's disposition of you.
Personally, I think it won't be as much as an issue as you are afraid it would be. There is no 'giant invisible alarm clock' in the background that will suddenly ring and drive away all of your followers if you take too much time not following your _hobby_. And you make it clear in your profile that this is, at the moment, a hobby for you.
From what I gather, the person who probably stresses you the most about this yourself. ;)
My advice would be: Stop stressing yourself out. Stop looking at your various accounts. Turn off your phone. Sit in a room without a clock. Get a tasty snack. Then read a book, watch a show you enjoy or do something else that's 'non-interactive' and doesn't have a million advertisements or 'side-functions'. Just have some "you time".
In a world where everyone tries to get your attention you need to learn how to disconnect yourself when you need to. The world will _not_ collapse in on itself, just because @LightWaveDrake wasn't "available" for an evening or two.
And if I was 'wrong' and it 'does' collapse, it didn't deserve any better. You are only human. Not everything can be your 'constant responsibility'. ;)
LightWaveDrake (Updated )
I just realised I copied and pasted the wrong thing. Well I corrected it, yesterday was an awful day.
It's not that, I didn't tell what it is bcus it wounds me inside to remember. Every single weekend, no exceptions, are the same. My bro does a mess, mom yells or screams at him for many time.
It can be fir ridiculous things, a toy, a youtube channel, something he wanted to take and mom didn't let him. Then he starts crying, beating things and people, even that he's 6 years old. The yelling, screaming, it all starts for what feels to be an eternity. And this have been happening EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND, I am DEAD SERIOUS.
I'm having constant headaches, nothing makes me happy anymore, I mean NOTHING AT ALL. Everything feels boring, pointless, meaningless, rewardless.
I'm being stressed out, burnt out, for going to a course I didn't want to do everyday and I don't have the right to complain, never. Our family is passing through a hard monetary crisis, we can't even go out to buy a sandwich bcus we can "waste" our money like this.
Our family is crumbling apart. All I wanted was a psychiatrist to help me through this, but I never caught those two in good moods to ask bcus I am a burden to them.
All I do was look to the sky and ask myself why am I still here. I just wanted to be a good artist, appreciated, but people don't notice me. My numbers are falling, maybe soon I'll fall in the valley of forgetfulness.
I can't, everything is going wrong. I hate, I HATE my life